Professional Surfing: Would you pay $ 54.95 to watch a one-day world title matchup?
No dead air, no silly near-environmental campaigns that reek of hypocrisy, critical commentators, tough questions, next-level graphics. Would you pay?
Yesterday, me and two million other lovers of cartoon violence paid $ 54.95 each to watch six hours mixed martial arts fights.
I haven’t thought twice about it and I’m not the type to spend in bulk.
Dana White’s UFC is a weird and superficial sport, a detached tension of realism with shock and silliness, like all good spectator sports should be. No greenwashing, no virtue signaling the comic in its hypocrisy.
Trump, Bieber, the Nelk boys, a Kardashian. All in the front rows.
Real simple rules.
Beat the hell out of the person in front of you.
Don’t put your fingers in their eyes or hit them in the nuts or pussy.
If you get hit, you keep coming back.
If the leg cracks, yell at your opponent that you will use his wife later at the after party.
Raw but professional.
Smooth as fuck.
And, I was watching, thinking, man, how good it would be if I slung the money on an epic day of pro surfing, eight to ten foot Teahupoo or Cloudbreak, a full day of head- to head cards, from day one to dusk, a crowned winner at the end.
Use this as a template, and, yes, it’s a no-brainer.
ASP (it was a year before Dirk Ziff renamed professional surfing to WSL) Billabong Pro in 2014. Teahupoo. Kelly Slater, John John Florence clashed in Teahupoo from eight to ten feet. The two best surfers in heavy left walked a tightrope more deadly than a Francis Ngannou uppercut.
Imagine a day.
Two week window in season.
Kelly, John John, Gabriel, Italo, Jack Robinson, Griff, Brother, Owen Wright, Julian Wilson, maybe.
I have six a year. Grand Slam Tour. The current WCT tour is becoming food for the Grand Slam, with Slater being an obvious wildcard.
You know it happens so you have viewing nights. You and your buddies contribute, say, ten dollars each to watch.
Tell me that wouldn’t excite just a little.
It’s not going to happen quickly, I know, but in two months is Finals day at Lowers?
The WSL sets up a pay wall for the day of the finals.
Fifty-five dollars to watch.
There is no dead air, no silly quasi-environmental campaigns, “diversity and inclusiveness” gets a needed rest, commentators are encouraged to be critical, tough questions are asked in post interviews -heat and the on-screen graphics game is taken to the next level.
A southern hemi whips through the most jagged three to four foot waves you’ve ever seen.
Would you pay?
If not, what if it moved to Tahiti in 2022 and you saw Filipe dealing with his demons at ten foot Teahupoo?
Yes or no ?